Wow hey, I havent updated in a few days. I haven't had much to say. I'm sick of rain, thats for sure. I'm also sick of Chorus. That is a horrible class. I shouldn't even call it a 'class' cause its not. It's do whatever u want class. It's sad. I dread going in there. I do not wanna go on the Gatlinburg trip.

I'm thinking about what to say. 291 days till Return Of The King! YAY! I have a countdown clock on my desktop and it has the days, hours, minutes, and seconds and it has One Ring to rule them all scrolling at the bottom. And I have 4 skins to change it to, Gandalf, Aragorn, Gollum, and a Frodo and Sam one. It rocks man! Oh I heard that there is a Gollum toy! And it comes with 2 heads! One for Gollum and one for Smeagol and it comes with a toy fish! How cute!


Ok today in chorus, we watched The Emporerer's New Groove, which is a funny movie by the way, and I sat with Casey and Megan W. And I noticed a group of my friends in the back. And I saw 3 specific people all sitting next to each other. I looked at one of them and almost started crying. I miss her dearly. She is by far one of my closest friends and I just miss her. I miss talking to her about everything, I miss telling her every single detail that happens with Robby, I miss her jokes, I miss giving her hugs, and most of all I miss talking to her.


I think I talked more to her today than I have in 4 weeks, and I think I only said 15 words to her all day. I wanted to die today when she gave one of my friends a hug. She was going to her class and she said i'll see you later! and gave her a hug. I was just thinking," I want a hug too. " I haven't had one from her in a long time. I thought about just randomly going up to her one day and not saying anything and just giving her a hug but I don't think she would like that or know why I was doing it.


This friendship is NOT gonna be like one I had in 8th grade, but it looks like it's turning into that and I can't stop it. I've prayed about it and prayed about it and I will continue to pray about it until I have some sort of answer. I'm tired of it all. I don't know what to say or how to act when i'm around her and that's even if I am. It's small talk now. It's like a yeah or a hey, and that's the whole conversation. I try and start a conversation with her but I don't know what to say and even if I do she's talking with someone else about something more important. It's even harder cause we dont see each other. We only have 1 class together. I waved at her the other day and either she didn't see me or she just didnt wanna wave back cause I didnt get a response out of her. That hurt. Bad. I don't know what to do. I need help.

Ok I have one thing to write about. Adam came home this weekend and brought a friend. And this friend was hott. And I mean HOTT. His name is Jeff and he has a great accent and talks real slow. Woo he was great, but the best part is that he looks like Colin off Everwood! NO JOKE! When I first saw him, I was like omgosh dude, it's Colin's brother! lol. His hair is cut like his, but a lighter brown. Woo he look good. lol just thought I would mention that.


Grammy's are tonight! yay! MY MEN ARE GONNA BE THERE TOO!!!!!!!! Well there gonna be there, but the paper said something about Nick not being there with them, but going with Aaron I think. So I think he'll be there just not with the group, which is fine. He'll still be there lol. I can't wait to see them all! I've seen Kevin plenty of times from doing promotion for Chicago in NY and he looks GREAT but I wanna see Howie Bear and Bri and AJ!!!!!! AAHH!!!! AJ!!!!!!!!!! *screams VERY loud*.

Ok i'm SO ready for Spring now. I didn't think blue sky would ever appear on this earth again, but it came for a while today! We were so happy! Rain is poo! But now it's gonna monsoon outside, the wind is terrible. We can hear it against the house.


Me and my mom went to the mall today and Old Navy. At Old Navy I wanted to look at St. Patrick's Day stuff which they had. I got all excited cause they had this gorgeous shirt that said Shamrock in green and it was covered in glitter. I'm gonna go back and get it soon. And then I got one of those towels in a pack u know? U put it in water and it turns into a towel, well it turned into a rag actually lol. But then we went to Bath and Body and I got Ciara this really cute bag that had 5 different things in it. And then we went into The Icing. That is the hottest store I have EVER been in. It's like 85 in there. Well anyway the lady that works there is super nice, she told me I had pretty hair. Ok everyone and their brother tells me I have pretty hair. I turned in my work on friday in spanish and the sub said I had beautiful hair and I was like well thank u lol. But anyway there I got some gorgeous earrings for my Secret Sister. And as we walked out I saw Erika V working at the Service desk lol. She is SO pretty and nice it's not even fair. We talked to her for a few minutes and I told her I was looking for a job and she showed me the hiring book that has what stores are hiring so I was like woo! Dry Ice and Rack Room were in there so I got excited lol. But I asked the lady in the Icing if they were hiring and she mumbled something about applications and said they werent hiring. But I gotta tell Danielle cause we wanna try and apply at the same place so we can know someone when we work lol. But shes already 16..... I hope they hire at 15....

Ok read the italicized part.

A.J. McLean attended the Daredevil premiere in Los Angeles this week, where he told a MuchMusic correspondent that the Backstreet Boys would be recording soon. "We're going back into the studio either next month or the month after," said McLean. "We're a family. We've made a conscious promise that we're going to be together forever." AJ went on to talk about his continued sobriety, saying, "I'm still going to meetings and plugging in. Sober living is much better than partying." Of his delayed nuptials to singer Sarah Martin, AJ said, "We actually postponed the wedding because there's so much crazy stuff going on. But it's going to be great. She's a wonderful woman and I'm really looking forward to it."

Ok I have to say that article should shut alot of people up. I should print it out and take it to
school and post it on every available space I see.


Ok I wanna say some stuff about all the Michael Jackson specials.

Ok they really need to leave that poor man alone. He was all they talked about on Oprah today and they brought up some good points. I think they did trick Michael into answering some of the questions. I think he has had more than 2 face lifts and I DONT think he has some sick fetish with children. I can see how when he says he likes kids to sleep in his bed with him, how that could scare people but honestly come on. I mean what's the difference between that and me babysitting a 7 year old child and we watch movies laying on a bed and we fall asleep? I mean really people need to leave him alone. And what about if a child get scared during a storm or if they have a nightmare, the first thing they do is run to their parents room or to an adult and they want to sleep in their bed with them cause they feel safe. And people are saying well he's a grown man its wrong. Well for one, im almost a grown woman, I dont think its wrong if little kids wanted to sleep in my bed cause they were scared or anything else, do u think thats odd? Cause I personally dont. And two, he has the body of a 40 year old, but that doesnt mean he has the mind of one. He could still think hes 12 when he has kids over. So he probably doesnt see why people think what he's doing is wrong.


Ok on another note. I kinda got in trouble with Coach Pope today. I walked out of Spanish today and I was talking to Meenal and I heard Robby say something about she's causing trouble over there or something and then Coach Pope walked over and looked at me and I go what did I do? And he goes Robby said u were causing trouble. And I go omgosh he just randomly said that to get me in trouble! I'm not doing anything! And Robby CRACKED UP. He thought that was hilarious.


"Go, go, go, go, go, go Shorty it's your birthday. We gone party, like it's your birthday, we gone party like it's party and we don't give a **** about your birthday!"

Ok sorry I dont even know if thats the last line of that part but he says the F word and im guessing thats where it goes, but sorry it was stuck in my head.

I left school early today. I was about to fall over in my classes. I think my medicine made me drowsy. I took my sick medicine and then I took my headache medicine and I think those 2 made me drowsy. Woo i felt nice. My mom came and got me during Spanish.


I barely have any makeup work either! Thats wonderful! It seems I get VERY lucky when im out of school. Cause I come back and I have usually only a little bit of makeup work. It's nice. All I have to do is make up the little work I have at home. Theres really no need to be at school that day lol. I gave Emmy her David Schwimmer card today. She flipped out lol.


Well not much else to say.

Well I went to the wonderful doctor yesterday and I have Tonsillitis. We got there and I thought oh no im gonna have to wait here for 2 hours and then another hour in the actual room. But there was barely anyone there. It was wonderful. So we sat there like 15 mins and I read LOTR the whole time, (oh yeah i've got 2 chapters left in the first part of ROTK, so i'll start the second half tomorrow! yay!). So then we go to the back room and we sit there about 15 mins again.


And then Dr. Naik comes in and tells me about my tonsills again and how humongous they are and how I need to get them checked out again so I can possibly have them taken out. Ok heres the thing with my tonsills, there oversized. I know this. I've known this my whole life. My tonsills look swollen at their regular size. So if u looked at them u would think im sick, but thats the way they are normally! So yes I have oversized tonsills, so automatically every doctor under the sun thinks I need to have them out cause there huge and I snore. And I went to a doctor once before and insurance would cover most of the surgery but he said it would be fine if I had em out but I wouldnt die if i didnt. So then dad said we could go look again this summer to see about having them out. Joy.


And as u can see im at home today. I've had a headache since Friday and no im not exaggerating. So I guess i'll get to do makeup work tomorrow, fun.


I think I might go watch my LOTR extended DVD. Orlando and Billy will keep me entertained....

Ok I think it's offical that after every trip I go on, i come back sick. It ALWAYS happens. I thought I was gonna die yesterday. I got my wonderful 3 hours of sleep and I woke up and my throat was hurting. And then i've had a headache since friday. Oh and all day yesterday I had chills. During church service, I had to bounce my legs to keep my blood flowing cause it was the only way I could have some kinda warmth. And I slept the whole way home. Jillian slept in my lap part of the way. I don't think I realized how sick I was till i was in the car on the way home. I could actually hear myself talk and i did sound sick. Ahhh.

The trip was pretty fun though. I'm not gonna give a full story though cause I dont really feel up to typing that much. But here's a little recap:

1. I got 5 hours of sleep in 2 days

2. From Saturday and Sunday I ate probably 2 meals total

3. I got sick

4. I bought a claddagh ring, a bracelet, candy for my parents, a gift for Emmy, and I got an airbrushed tshirt that says Cortney (heart) Backstreet Boys. Yay i wanna wear my shirt.

Got Winterfest and VDay tomorrow! I'm nervous about WF!!!!!!!! I'm wearing all pink tomorrow and im gonna do my hair and bring my LOTR valentines! YAY! No one was in class today cause everyone was gone to Knoxville. We had about 10 people in Chorus class and we had Mrs Jarrett. I thought about just going on and leaving like last Friday cause she wouldnt of known cause everyone was just walking around everywhere. But me, Krissy, Tudor, Amber, and Christin all went to play vball in the gym. That was fun lol. I miss it.

Hello again. I havent updated in a few days. Havent had much to say.

I'm going to Winterfest this weekend! It should be fun but im honestly nervous. Plus theres 6 people in my hotel room! It's me, Jillian, Allison, Amber, Jennifer, and Breanne. I don't know Breanne. She came to church on Sunday and sat with us but I've never talked to her. She seemed nice on Sunday. I should be able to get to know her this weekend. Well I'm dreading the trip kinda too cause its suppose to rain ALL weekend. And my dad said one of his friends who lives near Knoxville said there suppose to get 2-4 inches! Aahhhh im gonna be using my umbrella the entire time. I might take my smaller one so I can fit it into my purse. It's the camo one Casey gave me. Its awesome! It's a mini umbrella but its plenty big enought to get under and it comes with a little bag. And u put the umbrella in the bag and then the bag is also a backpack! It's so awesome! U can turn it inside out! So I think im gonna use that.


I'm SO ecstatic about going in the Irish shop too! I just gotta find it lol. Ashley told me she thinks its across from the mall and Megan G told me she thinks its on a corner. So i'll find it. I'm sure Jillian will wanna go in so we can find it together lol. And then Megan also told me that they had Claddaghs in the Acorn shop. So i'll look for that too. And Megan W told me a while back that in a million shops they had some BSB stuff! YAY!


Ive got LOTR valentines for Friday! YAY! And I have poo news for me. I cant get my haircut tomorrow! I was so mad! My hairdresser's mom is really sick with cancer and is about to die or already has. So i'm getting it cut next thursday. But thats ok. Not much else to say. Bye yall!

Ok I had the BEST dream last night! IT HAD THE LOTR CAST AND BSB IN IT!!!!!!!! Ok so I wake up around 7:45 I think and I suddenly remember my dream and I am SO happy. And I thought to myself, Ok Cortney just make yourself remember it and u can go back to sleep. Cause usually in my dreams I dont remember if I wake up and go back to sleep. So I wake up 15 mins later and I cant remember half of it! I was so mad! Well here's what I remember. I'm in a SUV and Billy Boyd (Pippin) is in the backseat!!!! And I think i was the most excited about that in the entire dream lol. And I can't remember but I think Dominic was in there too, but he mighta been in the other suv, but i think he was in mine. And then its cloudy after that. All I remember is being in McDonalds and thats when I met BSB and I had my I Love BSB's with me too and I gave them too them! ANd other stuff happened that I remembered this morning and then I forgot. Im SO MAD! Aahhhh my one good dream in a LONG time with the 2 things I love and I cant remember! It would of been absolutely perfect if we were in Ireland though lol.


I went shopping today. Me and my mom went to Pennys so I could get myself some bras. I got a regular white one and a sports bra. And then we went into Lane Bryant. I saw 2 skirts I liked too. One was pinkish and came to my knee and then had a ruffle that went down to the middle of my calf so it was an angled skirt. And the other one I liked the best cause it was long and really flowy at the bottom. It was purpleish. I didnt like the top though cause it was like a mermaid skirt where it was smaller on top and flowy at the bottom so it made my thighs look bigger. But i liked it the best. But I said I wished the pink skirt's print was on the purple silhouette. But it was 50$!!!! So i think im gonna wait till its on sale cause i looked in the sale today and my 40$ blouse was 20$. It was my size too. I was so mad.

And then I went into The Icing and got Ciara something. Ciara is my BSB pen pal from Ireland! Ireland! yay! Her bday is coming soon so im gonna mail her something. I went and got 10 things for 5$. Thats the best deal ever cause I can get 20 things for 10$ too. And they had all this cell phone stuff but it wasnt for my phone! But anyway I got up there and I had got grab bags that had alot of stuff in em and i thought they were included in the 5 for 10 but they werent but the lady said she'd make them a part for me. I was like wow thanks!!!!!! That was SO nice of her! But i got a ton. It was a good day.

Mad Again

Ok just a little sidebar here, I just spent 30 mins doing most of this entry which was INCREDIBLY LONG and then my comp crapped out and it ALL disappeared! AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Ok well anyway I had another run in with Litchford. Thats why im incredibly mad. But i'll get to that in a bit I wanna talk about the rest of the day first.

Well Spanish was fun today. Were learning past tense and we had to get a partner and retell the story in spanish using past tense, but the thing is, we had to retell to the class. And we couldnt take any notes, only use pics. So I was gonna be partners with Megan W and then Hunter tapped me on the shoulder and goes u wanna be partners with me and Robby? And I looked at Megan and go they need help, they dont know what they're doing, and Megan goes well forget them lol but she was partners with Krissy I think. I still love u Megan!!!! So I got to work with those 2. That was a trip.

They have no idea what's going on lol. So there like ok what do we do? And I have to admit im a bit lost in all this past tense stuff since we just started it Tuesday. So im honestly nervous helping them I think it was b/c there guys. And ure prob thinking why would u be nervous around guys?? Well one ive never talked to one of them, 2 b/c one of them im practically in love with, and 3 b/c while im helping them the entire time i have to look them in the eye. It was a little more ackward with Hunter, b/c I dont think he knew who I was. But with Robby I was SO nervous b/c his eyes are GORGEOUSLY blue and he knows I like him, so I have that stuck in my head the everytime I talk to him, he knows. But it turns out we never had to talk anyway so it didnt matter.

Ok on to Litchford. So I ask the other day what my average was and he goes 76, u have a 0 on something. And I go A 0????? And I was pretty sure what it was so i didnt worry about it, i'll make it up later. So then I tell my dad about it and he said he wasnt too concerned about the 0 since he knows I always do my work, he was more concerned about Litchford. So he said talk to him. Which I did.

So I go in and go straight to his desk and I go I need the work I have a 0 on. And he goes it doesnt matter its too late, grades have already gone out. And I go i know, i wanna change it so it wont be a 0 on report cards. And he mumbles something as usual and he goes I dont know what the assignment was. And I go u have all these grades and u dont know what they go to? Cause if u look on his computer, he has everyone's grades, but not what the work was.


So I go I know what the work is, I have it done and in my binder with me. And he goes get it out. So I hunt for it and find it. And he goes there were 3 other assignments with this. And I go yeah u've graded them. And he goes get them out. I FLIPPED OUT CAUSE WHY THE H*** WOULD HE NEED TO SEE THEM IF HE ALREADY HAS A GRADE FOR THEM?!?!?!?! But I go and hunt in my binder for about 10 mins for it. And ure prob thinking if u have it why did it take so long? Thats b/c I knew I had it. I keep everything given back to me and put it in order in my binder cause I hate being messy. But I couldnt find it cause I DIDNT KNOW WHAT THE ASSIGNMENT WAS!!!!! Well I remember what i did, but i didnt know what the bookwork was or what w/s they were cause weve done a million since last month. And I continued to argue with him, I was like ok I had a 0 in Chemistry, Mrs. Taylor let me turn the assignment in for a late grade, why cant u? And he goes cause im not Mrs Taylor. And while this is all going on, Robby is over at his desk going Get mad Cortney, yell at him, get angry, kill him! Get pissed off! And I had the biggest smile on my face and I go Shut up Robby! sarcastically *died while smiling*.


So heres the thing. The assignment was some bookwork and 3 w/s'. So on the bookwork I got a 92, and he said the w/s were an effort grade. He said if u did them all u got a 100 and if u didnt u got a 0. Thats what the zero was. It was a zero b/c on the top of the w/s it said IN CLASS project. So i distinctly remember asking him if this was due in class? ANd he goes yes. But the thing is we didnt do it in class, so I assumed it wasnt homework.

So finally I find what I think is the work and hold it up in front of his face and he goes its too late.
ALL I WANNA DO IS TURN IN THE W/S SO IT WONT BE A 0 ANYMORE! I WOULDN'T OF CARED IF IT WAS A 50, I DIDNT WANT A 0 ANYMORE! I DID THE WORK, IT WAS LATE, SO WHAT, GIVE ME A F****N GRADE AND SATISFY ME!

I told my dad and he said it wasnt a big deal since he knows I always do my work and a few points didnt matter as long as it didnt effect my grade borderline. If I had an 83 and that woulda given me an 85, i'm gonna complain. My dad said he'll have some words for him.

And then I was in a foul mood all class and Troy was scared of me lol. He was like shes gonna beat me down over here! lol and then I wasnt saying anything cause i'd calmed down some and Jenna goes why are u upset? And i do why would i be upset? And she goes cause ure face is all red. And that surprised me. Cause u all know I dont usually get REALLY mad. I havent been REALLY mad in a long time. I usually am never mad cause im used to taking crap from everyone. U all know I hear BSB stuff 24/7, it doesnt bother me anymore. But i think im on an anger streak, i was REALLY mad yesterday as I told u before.


But then we had a pep rally today for some odd reason and it was a short one, so i thought I wonder if my dad is here? Cause i didnt wanna stay. So he was there and I just left lol. I didnt stay for it cause no one woulda known I was gone anyway so I left at 2:45 haha lol. That made my day better.

Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. There hasnt been much to say. I have some stuff to say about today though cause I was pissed off.

Well today Brittany K sat behind me in Spanish. And u all know how Brittany is, shes not all there lol. Well anyway u all saw I wore my hair in braids today. Well everyone usually has a big time with them, and so did Brittany. She played with them, tied them in knots and then one of my rubber bands fell out. So my braid was kinda ruined, so I just took them both down and put my hair in a ponytail. Well that was a BAD mistake. For some time I didn't know that she was coloring my hair purple with her pen! I wouldn't of known if Jim hadnt said stop coloring her hair. I wasn't really mad, cause it takes ALOT to get me REALLY mad at someone. Usually i'm used to everything, so nothing bothers me. Well then she wouldnt leave my hair alone. And today was reading day in there, so we all couldnt talk cause people were testing.

So she does this the WHOLE period while i'm trying to read my book. And finally i'm sick of her so I turn sideways so she cant play with it anymore. But then she MARKS ON MY FACE! I was getting SO pist then. And she kept on nagging me and wouldnt stop. And while all this is going on, Robby keeps wanting me to hit her, which i was threatening to do anyway. And while i'm being made into graffittii, I finally kick her and im telling her to stop and earlier i said u know whats gonna happen? Mrs Lee is gonna see me yell at u or hit u and im gonna get in trouble b/c of u. And that happened. I'm trying not to get colored and I get told to turn around cause i was telling to stop or she was gonna be in pain.

And Robby was all for me hitting her lol. He was like yeah I bet 50$ on Cortney, she could kill Brittany lol. And then he said we should do it in geometry cause Litchford wouldn't care and we'd have like an arena LOL. It was the funniest thing. And honestly I was shaking, cause i was so angry. In geometry i was just shaky and paranoid cause I thought she was gonna do something else to me. And I was waiting to hit her cause Litchford wouldnt care, cause Mrs Lee woulda given me a conduct referal probably lol. And then Jenna started singing justin timberlake and that was making me mad. And then Robby said I should hit her. And then he said no, u should hit them both, 2 to 1, Cortney would still win, my moneys on her lol. I will hit her if she does it tomorrow lol. I mean I love the girl to death but shes SO annoying. She wont bother me anymore when shes in pain. haha.

Well I have decided that im gonna change the whole, put up a new icon everyday thing. Cause I gotta put the floppy in every 3 days and its a hassol, so im gonna keep one icon up every week and then change. That way we ALL can enjoy the icon for a whole week instead of one day. And besides some of u might not check my journal everyday, so u cant see the new one everyday! Arent u happy now? I know i am :)

Well I'm sick. Well im getting worse. I left during 2nd period today. My throat has gotten worse and i've sneezed about 7 times today. Allergies.... Well at least i think.

We did a lab in chemistry! JOY. Well im failing that class for progress report. I have a 64. Apparently I have a 0 on a homework assignment. I hate that woman. I hate her more than Litchford and Helton combined. So thats ALOT. Today Megan made sure I made her keep her goggles on. Haha, that was funny last time.

IM NOT MAD AT YOU MEGAN!

Ok Megan W, i'm NOT in anyway mad at u. I'm sorry if i made u mad, it wasnt my intention. I dont want u mad at me and me mad at u cause we went through this in 8th grade and it was a bunch of crap to go through and i dont wanna do it again.
I just thought it was rude of u to tell me where i should go to church. That's all. Ok i apologized, now u apologize and things will be hunky doory and we can forget it ever happened.

Well I think i'm getting sick now. Thanks Jillian! haha j/k. Well last night we had breakfast for dinner. Have yall ever done that? It's good lol. Well anyway I was fine and then my stomach started to hurt. Well I started getting cramps. And I thought that was odd cause i wasnt on my period and I didnt have to go to the bathroom (but that all changed soon). Well it all lasted from about 6:30 to 8:30. I would have periodic cramps and then go to the bathroom. And then at 9:30 i was SO hungry cause I didnt have anything left in me! My stomach hurt cause I was hungry now! Well even before my cramps started, i've been having something wrong with my throat.

It started Thursday. It's like i've got something stuck in my throat, and i keep coughing to make it go away but it wont! I'll cough and it won't go away and my eyes will water when I dont cough so then i cant see lol. I started coughing in Chemistry and I made myself not cough so I didnt look stupid. Well I started coughing last night and u know when u cough so hard sometimes u gag? Well I did that and I thought i hope i dont do that again cause i might throw up. I spoke too soon. I coughed right after that and some of my grits and OJ came up from dinner. And then i had tears on my cheeks cause my eyes watered so bad. Ahhh just coughed, and my eyes are watery right now. Im going to die.